I've come to realize that I have thin skin.  I don't take criticism well, thus anything of the sort can make me grumpy and even cry.  Usually, I am not quick in my replies back to someone, especially when they catch me off guard.  Instead, I tend to just sit in the corner and sulk. 

I'd like to think I am tough, but I am realizing I truly am not.  Let's get one thing straight -- I've never thought myself as tough in all respects.  In fact, I feel rather weak in some areas.  I did, however, think I was tough (ish?) when it came to confrontations and other sorts of dealings with others.  Lately, however, I would have to retract this.  

My skin is thin.  I don't like this.  I don't want to be "hardened" per se, but I would like to thicken up.  I want things to roll off my back and not eat me up.  I would like the ability to be criticized and not cry about it right after.  

How do I do it?  What am I doing wrong?  And how does one obtain "a quick wit" ... ?

I'm sick.  Stuffed head, nose, ears.  My head might as well explode at this point.  Screwed up throat.  No liquids, please!!

I call myself a baby when it comes to being sick.  Currently, my mother is out of town and my brother is nowhere to be seen.  When I am sick, this is bad news for me.  I hate solitude when I am not feeling good.  Thus, the aforementioned baby comment.

I'd do a crappy job of living alone.

Is it bad of me that I want to see the new Sex and the City movie a great deal?

That is all.

**Disclaimer:  This entire post is about me and my personality.  There's no insight to gain here, so I don't expect this to be read.  I wonder what talking about myself in this way -- dissecting a personality profile on myself -- says about me.  I can't imagine it to be good things. 

Anyway, off I go ...

I've taken these personality tests before, but I always forget what personality I end up being.  I took this one just now:  http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp  I thank greeniezona for all the links given on this page.  :) 

I ended up being an ENFJ --
moderately expressed extrovert - strength of preference being a mere 33%
moderately expressed intuitive personality - strength of preference being a low 25%
distinctively expressed feeling personality - strength of preference being a dominating 62%
distinctively expressed judging personality - strength of preference being a whopping 67%

I am unclear of what the percents truly dictate and I must say some of the questions were hard for me to answer.  I would have felt better if I could have answered "sometimes" to some of the questions asked.  An example: Strict observance of the established rules is likely to prevent a good outcome  To this, I would have said "sometimes" were that an available choice.  Rules are there for a reason -- sometimes this/these reason(s) is/are not good, but in other cases, it is/they are.

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html
Apparently, my people skills are incredible.  In fact, the above link uses the word extraordinary.  Now, I don't know about that, as I believe I cannot fairly rate my own people skills.  I do try to help people whenever I can and I suppose this is why I received this answer.  "ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this."  I can attest to only the following to be true: when I see someone upset, I want to talk about it with them for two reasons.  (1) I can't stand to see people in pain and (2) I will admit it makes me feel good if I can help someone out.  I tell people to come to me if they need to talk.  Most of the time they don't, but I have to let them know that I am available.  Using the phrase "have to" was intentional, by the way.

This page goes on to say that my personality type may have a hard time focusing on themselves, as they care for other people.  I'd not say this truly fits me, however, as I think I have a somewhat selfish streak.

"Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them."  There we have it.  The word selfish comes up, finally.  The latter part of this paragraph is something the old Erin definitely fell prey to.  A great example of this is my old journal at erinrose  Ha.

"When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs."  It's a good thing the word "likely" was put into this sentence, or I would have automatically vetoed it.  I have very strong opinions and am not afraid to show them to the world.  I would have to be given a scenario that this may come into play to know if this statement fits me or not.

I've opted to cut the rest of this post because it is completely irrelevant.  Behind the link below you will find the strengths and weaknesses to my supposed ENFJ personality.  It's truly an exhilarating read.  (And laughter ensues...)

Last night's episode of The Office.  What is there to say ... the episode was great,  but I hate season finales that make you want more.  I realize that's the purpose of the finale, but I can still hate it.

I want to see what happens with Jan and Michael and Holly.  Obviously, Holly won't work because she's actually right for Michael.  It is possible that Michael deserves Jan.  Even though she treats him like crap, sometimes he deserves it.

I want to see what happens with Dwight and Angela and Andy.  Obviously, Dwight and Angela deserve each other since both are pretty despicable.  (The last scene in the episode?  Come ON!)  I am sympathetic to Andy since he is so clueless and is able to take Angela's attitude in stride, in ways no one else would be able to.  And I do love how he calls her his "little flower". 

I want to see what happens with Pam and Jim and Toby. (?)  Obviously, Pam is saddened that her proposal didn't come.  And obviously she is going to move away to New York for a few months.  Maybe.  And Toby -- is he really leaving?  I realize he had a send off party, but since he's so taken with Pam, you never know.  And, of course, Pam had to tell the camera that she thinks Toby is kind of cute. 

I want to see Kelly talk shit to Ryan in prison like she proposed to do.

"Cool! Bouncy house!"  I think Kevin was the best part of last night's episode.

Do any of you play Maple Story?  I have been known to play upon occasion and I must say it would be rad if someone here played, too.  There's not much to the game and maybe it's embarrassing to admit that I do,  in fact, play said game.  However,  it's out in the open now.  Yes, it sure is.

 

It's hard to imagine that I used to be able to write here so often.  I wish I knew the answer to why it was easy then, but not now.

My old school friend gave me a "nudge" a few weeks ago.  I didn't know there was such a thing as I am not even sure how you give someone an "LJ nudge".  But no matter, I got one.  And now, weeks later, I am responding to that nudge.

If I were to update my life as of right now, the first thing I'd mention is the physical pain I am currently enduring.  Since late January, I have had lower back pain.  I didn't think anything of it since I have had pain there before that doesn't result in anything major.  This time, however, it did.  Beginning in February, my back pain migrated to my leg.  The entire leg.  And yes, just one leg.  I've gone to the doctor for this (back in March) and he told me to exercise it.  He diagnosed me, essentially, with a pinched nerve.  Sleeping is a bitch and walking or standing for too long can become excruciating.  (Too long can be an hour or a mere 2 minutes.)  It's hard to exercise your leg when it hurts to do anything with it.  I feel like an unhealthy lump of junk to be going through any of this given my age.  I don't know how many times I've heard the words, "But you're too young to have pain like this!"  Well, apparently I am not too young.   Sometimes I get scared thinking that this pain will never fully go away. 

None of this is exciting to read.  I back off from telling people when I am in pain, at times, because I don't want to drive them crazy.  I suck it up as much as I can.  I'd like to think that I have a decent pain threshold, but maybe I am more of a wimp than I give myself credit for. 

In even more thrilling news, I've taken to reading again.  This makes me happy, since for a long time, I was unable to do so.  (I found it very hard to concentrate.)  I am attempting to read all I can and have read many books so far this year.  And yes, I am keeping track with pen and paper.

I suppose that's it.  I will attempt to be more diligent in writing here.  Though why I say this, I do not know.  It's like I am telling people that may read this to not worry!  I will write more!  As if said people are waiting on pins and needles for me to say something.  Ha!

I don't make New Year's resolutions, really.  I've always thought it was funny to make a resolution to do something based on the time of year.  Why not do it during some other arbitrary date?  Why must we wait to make a change when a new year starts?  Sounds like a bit of a cop out to me.  Mixed in with a bit of procrastination.  Just keep telling yourself you'll do ______ whenever the new year starts.  That sounds healthy.

Though I realize when a new year starts, we have the vision of it being somewhat of a "fresh start" ... a clean slate to work with.  I understand this.  It does make sense -- I'm not that crabby. 

This year, I do have a resolution of sorts though.  Sometime this year, I will learn how to make Coconut Cream Pie.  Yes, you read correctly.  I will learn how to make the best pie there is.  And I will make MERINGUE topping, not some lame whipped cream topper.  I think I can handle this resolution.  Now all I have to do is find some recipes.  

I used to want to write in my livejournal all the time.  Since creating this new one, however, it seems more like a hassle to do it at all.  

Funny thing, though, is I do compose journal entries in my mind when I am nowhere near a computer.  I have even gone as far as jotting down ideas mulling around in my head.  Never do I do anything with these thoughts, however.

When I was younger, I used compose novels in my head dictating whatever I was thinking about at that very moment.  (Though to be realistic, they were more like -bad- short stories.)  It was always overly dramatic; soap operaesque.  There wasn't a storyline to follow, per se.  More often than not, it was more a description of character.  I was usually the lead.    


Finally, yesterday was a great day.  Holding babies should be a Christmas tradition.  (Especially if said babies are related to you.)